I dont usually say what I really feels, like come on, if words can contain one’s feels, there would be nothing called “misunderstanding”, “speechless” , “muffled worlds”,”suffocating”, you name it.
But now or never, I have to say what I need to say. Or it would be forgotten and wasted.
Once upon a time, when I was still new to the so-called fandom, I met you.
You were the first one of everything. The first one told me you like what I did, the first one introduced me the things about fiction beyond my knowledge, the first one introduced me to everyone.
And I believed you. Like a daughter believes her parents. Like a student believes her teacher.
I believe when you said you needed time. So I waited. I believed when you said you would be back if I could. So I tried to find a way out and I indeed came back. I believed when you said everything still okay. So I lived with no worries. Yet you just keep broke your promises again and again. You never did what you said.
And then kaboom!!!! Everything exploded and you were gone, for real. And you left me here, frustrated, suffocated, speechless, and exhausted.
People may hate us or even look down on us. I know we did wrong and we had to pay the price. But hiding is not the way out. When you make a mistake, the best way to fix it is NEVER REPEAT IT TWICE. I will beg nobody for love, because I will earn it by my true actions.
Show them that we have changed.
Show them that we have improved.
Show them our real intentions.
You said without you, we still do fine. Of course we will. Missing one person doesn’t make the Earth stop rolling.
Stop trying to become someone. Girl, you are nobody, so do I. Missing ANY of us doesnt make any difference. But I was still happy because you were my nobody and thought that I was yours.
But no. You are unhappy. You are upset.
For what? For us being so strong? For us who still want to rock and roll?
I dont know anymore.
Your life. Your choice.
But I wont abandon MY FRIEND for what she/he did (Unless she/he kills someone and thats simply wrong).
We still welcome you as long as we are still here.
Stay strong, beautiful.